Retreat from the Sun

IMG_9530 It’s official: this year has been terrible. I don’t think I’ve ever looked forward to a year ending like I am with 2015. Are there good years as you get older? The stakes are far bigger and your bones tend to ache more. I guess I’ll let you know someday.

Remember back when things felt kind of boring and repetitive and you were waiting for some sort of excitement? You should have enjoyed that—boring is good, boring is peaceful.

Now I know.

It’s a bit gloomy in here and Vivek took some pictures. Less gloomy posts coming up I PROMISE. Warning: No Vivek pics this time SOWEEEEEE.

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Hi everyone,

Thanks for still tuning in. This site is run by a depressive which means enthusiasm can wane and motivation can completely disappear. This year has been one of those and I have been lucky enough to have the support and the means to get some extra help along the way. I think it says a lot that I want to return to this space when I am able to do so—I like it here and I believe. In the spirit of thanks, I’m also so grateful for Vivek Shraya; she’s been holding down the site with a lot of care and passion during my hiatus.

There are a lot of ideas floating around and I hope to make some happen while goddess gives me the energy. In the meantime, enjoy some fall looks from VS and KCC.

I’ve taught myself to braid my own hair. It only took forever!


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starbux lovers

This was actually such a difficult shoot to do. We were under time restraints since my photoboo, Vivek, is touring tons — check out info on the US tour here. It also winter now (kind of) with plenty of darkness. We work really hard to get the best photographs but in the end, neither of us has extensive training. And daylight has been our friend.


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Are we in the clear yet?

It’s been a while since we’ve done an outfit. Summer was busy for me. I had to prepare for a real life show about this very site. You can find a bit of info about that here. Can’t lie; there was a bit of pressure to follow up Garfield too. Then I decided I couldn’t.


Last shorts of the year.

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Trying my best to luv u

I can’t say no to Garfield and the love for this orange fat cat would challenge fat me to wear a crop top for the first time ever last week.


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Thank U, India

We got to see what Vivek brought back from India but he was sweet enough to bring me back a few things and we documented me on that streetcar on a lovely Saturday afternoon in Toronto.

IMG_5214The pants! Oh and my hair has grown out enough to BRAID. Just don’t call them pigtails please.

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Sitting up in my room

A post about winter to appease that cold bitch.


The bat sleeve on this Spiewak jacket was all this fat girl ever needed in a jacket. It seriously opened up a world beyond shapeless puffy things I’ve worn all my life. Almost made me look forward to winter. Almost.

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surprise, bitch

I don’t even watch American Horror Story (too scary!) but I’m really stoked I just used that to open my first blog post in forever. And the first of 2014. Basically, I’ve been working lots which is not a complaint when you freelance (hire me, here’s my stuff), and then the holidays happened. I have some really great features coming up soon that I’m so excited to share so Heartbeats will keep on.

Here’s something from before the snow with my puppy love, Harry.


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Business Casual

Big news, you guys: I’m growing out my bangs. Maybe in 5 years I’ll attempt to reclaim my youth and cut em again but for now, they are on their way out. (Editor’s note: It’s not big news, I promise)


I pulled out my best Tan Jay-brand, thrifted blazer for the Polaris Awards.

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Last call

These pictures are from a month ago and probably the last time shorts were worn by me.


The key to a good shoot is starting it off with poutine from Poutini’s. You’re welcome. We were also on our way to Juliana Neufeld’s show at the Gladstone. She’s the illustrator for Vivek’s first book, God Loves Hair.

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